biological car bombs and other truths you were too afraid to admit

i had two separate but parallel conversations with two 30+ year old single male friends of mine within the same day about aging.

as my 3o+ male friends vouch, once 35 arrives, the biological car bomb hits and your life flashes before you, regardless of gender and ethnicity. it's interesting how at 35, you are a new advertising demographic. you are damned to listen to easy listening and adult rock, or banished to ordering a lifetime subscription to healthy stool times.

the wild and crazy 18-34 year old studs and studettes we once knew ourselves to be are buried beneath literature on retirement plan options and ads for viagra. i now spend my friday nights buying sensodyne toothpaste and shaving down my calloused worker feet rather than buying the economy pack 3-for-1 special consisting of condoms, pregnancy test kits, and a gallon of tequila.

with regret, farewells must be said to the buns of steel which will turn into upside down cake and that girly figure prize now goes to my ikea lampshade.

but we do get to look forward to the fact that our 20s have been flushed down the toilet. now we can make all the same mistakes with more maturity. and we are all that more closer to senior citizen discounts, nightly bingo nights, and understanding the truths of using a tea cozy.