ghetto gourmet

i live to eat. food makes me happy and i look forward to meals. there have been meals i have fallen in love with, and certainly would have married if it were not for close-minded restaurateurs. i do not hide the fact that i am a food snob. to me, a deal breaker would be meeting someone that uses pre-ground supermarket black pepper and drinks instant coffee. none of that "good to the last drop" rubbish. i believe in using the freshest ingredients available. my friend, american express has been very supportive of my philosophy. a pantry needs to be stocked with truffle oil as a basic.

i was happy to accept a saturday night dinner invitation from a friend that had been promising a dinner gathering for the past year. to my shock, i was served frozen pre-made supermarket food. it had been heated up but had since turned cold upon my arrival. we were asked to microwave our dinners before eating. the menu:

ceaser salad from the bag with soggy croutons and bottled dressing which was handed to us to pour as we willed;
uniformly processed meatballs with bbq sauce (burnt);
rubbery chicken wings;
frozen stouffers cheese lasagna; and
for dessert, the pièce de résistance : entenmann's pound cake.

24 hours later, i feel rather traumatized and dirty. even unethically violated. not quite a dumpster diver's meal, but ghetto gruel comes to mind. i make myself a meal of organic pappardelle with saffron sauce to ease away the pain. the pain, oh the pain.