back to the future

i brace myself. embrace. i smooth my hair down tightly. into a middle parting from my high school heavy metal days.

i'm moving back to nyc. it's not the perfect scenario, but more a check with reality and a courtesy call with practicality.

i think i will move back to the same apartment i left behind and return to the same office that supported my sojourn overseas. but of course things will be same same but different.

it will be like a dream sequence, where memories are distorted and mixed up. a tingling deja vu that is somehow not quite truly deja.

i wonder what my life will be like. i think of scouring through craigslist to look for the life i should acquire upon my return, my re-emergence into ny society.

i will return to ny with a 1 year vacancy period.

i have gone through powershedding, water shortages, pollution, monsoon rapids.

i will easily sink back into the restaurant and bar scene, the daily dress-up parties and glamourous imagination.

i bite my lips. i bleed out the venomous pain. drip by drip. drip.

there will be the safety of old friends and the joy of getting to know the new friends that i met while i lived out here. a mix of the new and old. like a bride wearing something borrowed, something new.