pimp my blog

i have blog envy. i notice how adept all these cute little 10 year-old munchkins from singapore are at making all these fancy-pants blogs, and then i return to the anti-climax of my 2-inch flaccid eunuch of a page. i hate millicent and andrei, checkers, and caz for all of their hello kitty wonder and barbie dreamhouse of a virtual portal. but like every 9 year-old damned with wearing head-gear to junior high, i will grow out of my awkward adolescence and become a mtv 1 hit wonder. i will...(fast forward 11 years).

i have blog envy.

copyright infringement is also going to kick my bubble butt. please readers, run--don't walk, do not pass go--but go directly to your lawyer friends and plead a good case for me. ok, you can collect the $200 as it will probably come in handy when i do the martha time. i hear kmart is now producing a line of very fashionable ankle tracking devices. hey, convicts have fashion needs too you know. i'm getting mine in rhinestone. bling on baby.