love bug hachoos

l'amour, l'amour, l'amour. 'tis the season of love and all things smoochy. i'm no expert on the subject, qualified by the mere fact that i have attempted to write this blog entry multiple times.

so much peer pressure emits from the media to be in love or lust of one form or another for february 14th. i'm happy to wish happy valentine's day to my girlfriends and workmates, but going out on a valentine's date seems massed produced and packaged like a happy meal. and you don't necessarily get the toy surprise inside.

everyday reminders of my bachelorettehood pervade and try to persuade me that being single in my 30s is like having leprosy. everything from my google home page to my monthly periods remind so not so subtly that my eggs still have not found a tenant. the real estate market is tough in nyc.

my mother updates me weekly on the status of my future husbands. since i'm not very successful in the dating scene and not helping her along in her quest to have grandchildren, she decided to hire a professional matchmaker. of course she rattles off characteristics of attributes she wants in a son-in-law without my blessing: "doctor, rich, good-looking" fits the bill for her. i update her weekly with my exotic stories and decisions to either dedicate the rest of my life to buddhism and become a buddhist nun (and therefore get none); pay a tribute to anna nicole smith and date people at least 50 years my senior; or apologize for not having sent her an invite as i've been married in utah several times over to my other father/uncle/brother/dentist.

though my mother gets more anxious each day with my lack of marriage proposals, i am consoled with the fact that jude law is still single (because he hasn't met yet) and that the real housewives of orange county (www.bravotv.com/Real_Housewives) have relationship problems too outside of their conundrums on the size of their next breast implant.

the relationship thing just alludes me as i have fallen in love with so many incredible meals i have consumed, or hot pair of shoes i have come across. but falling in love with another person just seems confusing despite all the books out there on amazon.com. i don't have cupid as one of my homies, but a chocolate souffle and a pair of jimmie choos will do just fine for now.